• Maud Vanhoutte

How to Master the Fine Art of Small Talk?


Making small talk isn’t as easy as it sounds but it isn’t as challenging as it sounds either.

Conversing with strangers can be awkward, stilted, even painful, but there is an art to it, and it can be mastered!



There’s nothing small about small talk. There’s nothing small about small talk.

You may think that making small talk is just a way to pass the time or avoid awkwardness but many great friendships or personal and professional relationships have started there, with small talk!


Small talk is the first step before big conversations!


It's like in a boxing match, when you meet somebody new on the ring, you don't just go there with an uppercut, right; you start with a sort of dance with jabs here and there to prepare the match.

Small talk is the small dance before the big match, the big conversation. You don't start a relationship by mentioning your 3 years in therapy or by revealing personal details, no; you start with small talk to warm up the relationship and get ready to take the conversation to the next level.


Benefits of small talk:

  • It feels good to share, it makes you happier.

  • It helps you make a good impression.

  • It develops your knowledge and inspires new ideas.

  • It’s a way to connect, to make new friends.

  • Small talk is good for business.

  • It leads to lasting personal and professional relationships.

  • Small talk is an investment with no initial cost, no risk and unlimited upsides.


Why is small talk important?


If you refuse to engage yourself in small talk or tend to avoid it, it will create some disadvantages and you will miss on great opportunities.


When ‘failing’ the art of small talk:

  • You are missing friendship opportunities.

  • You are missing job opportunities.

  • It is bad for your first impression and reputation.

  • You appear a bit “rude” and distant.

  • You are missing enjoyable conversations.

  • You are passing on occasions to learn and develop your knowledge.

The first step to master the art of small talk is to dare to try!

Some people seem to be very comfortable when it comes to breaking the ice and engage in conversation, if you are not like them, you can still improve your skills and find it easier very soon!


Initiating a conversation with strangers is challenging because of :

  • The fear of rejection.

  • Shyness.

  • A lack of topics to develop.

  • Challenges in continuing the conversation.

  • Limits in self-confidence.

  • Unconscious bias.

  • Limiting beliefs.

Initiating a conversation with strangers can be easier by:

  • Practising!

  • Overpassing the fear.

  • Relativising the challenge.

  • Becoming a good listener.

  • Observing.

  • Preparing challenging situations.

  • Putting the focus on the other person rather than on yourself.

  • Using icebreakers and conversation starters.

  • Learning easy topics to engage the conversation.

  • Working on your stress and anxiety link to small talk.

  • Developing your assertiveness and self-confidence.


To make small talk easier, you will need to practise a lot, believe in your abilities, learn easy topics to start withand adjust to people and situations. With dedication and a bit of work, you will soon find great advantages in small talk.


Enrolling in a Small Talk training programis the fastest way to get an excellent result to develop your skills and make small talk easier.


Final tip:


Do you know the easiest way to do small talk? STOP TALKING AND START LISTENING MORE. Small talk is all about listening skills and your ability to observe and assess people and situations. Don't make it about you and focus on the other person, you will forget everything about your stress and fears!

Maud Vanhoutte


Contact us:

+61 (0)2 9569 6906

contact@newreflection.com.au

www.newreflection.com.au

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